


We Cordially Invite You

by Orithain, Rina9294



Series: The World According to Rover [31]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Sentient Carts, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-22 06:22:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orithain/pseuds/Orithain, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rina9294/pseuds/Rina9294
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paul and Elizabeth are getting married, which means John and Rodney have to shop for a wedding present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Cordially Invite You

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted March 2007.

"Have you checked your mail?" Rodney demanded the moment he walked into John’s office, Rover waving what looked like a piece of parchment as he rolled in behind him.

"No, I haven’t had time; urgent stuff usually comes by email." John looked from Rodney to Rover and back again, then dug through his in basket until he found a folded piece of the same kind of paper, sealed with a blob of wax... and where someone got wax, he had no idea.

Opening it, he read the brief message, his eyes widening. "Holy shit, they’re really going to do it. Good for them!"

"Yes, yes, good for them, but three weeks! We have to find a present in three weeks!"

"Oh. Oh crap!" John groaned as that aspect hit him. "We’re going to have to go back to that damn bazaar planet, aren’t we?"

"The one where we found the mirror?" Rodney groaned. "Wonderful."

"We’ll try to avoid UA tech this time," John said with a sigh. "I was thinking more along the lines of a nice sculpture or rug."

"That sounds good because unless Paul wants a cart, I’m not trying to make them something."

John snickered. "Could you imagine their faces if you gave them a baby cart? A _new_ one," he added hastily when Rover whacked his shin.

"We wouldn’t give away one of your babies, Rover," Rodney chuckled. "And if we don’t find anything at the ren faire mall, I may just do that."

"You know, Paul let it slip that he was on the fencing team in college," John mused. "I’ll bet somewhere in this galaxy is a good sword maker. We could get each of them something."

"A rug for Elizabeth and a sword for Paul?" Rodney asked. "That could work."

"See, I have a lot of good ideas."

"Yes, you do," Rodney chuckled as Rover patted John on the thigh. "So, when are we doing this?"

"Tomorrow’s downtime for the team, so how ‘bout then? Can you get free of the lab?"

Rodney thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "I should be able to."

"Great, then I’ll let Elizabeth know we’re going off-world."

"Just not where! Tell Sgt. Bryan that if someone has to know."

John nodded. "He needs to know in case something goes wrong, but I’m sure he’ll keep it quiet. And I think we’ll take a jumper. It’ll be easier to hide what we buy if it’s inside, and that’ll give us a chance to get the gifts from the jumper bay to our quarters without Elizabeth seeing them."

Rover banged against John’s desk, and Rodney chuckled. "He’ll scout the way and make sure it’s clear."

"I was counting on it. You know, some of the others might want to join us. We can’t be the only ones with this problem."

"Well, we can’t take all of Atlantis with us!" Rodney protested.

"Hell no! Hmm, come to think of it, Radek’ll probably do a sketch for them, and if Bryan’s on duty, he can’t be shopping. And there’s no way I’m listening to you and Cadman go at it all day, so I guess it’s just the three of us after all."

"I don’t go at anything with Cadman," Rodney huffed.

"The two of you are like siblings, bratty, argumentative, teenage siblings."

"Oh, that is so not funny, Colonel!"

"I think it’s hilarious most of the time, but not all day." John was amused to note that Rover hadn’t tried to pinch him for the comment, and he hoped Rodney didn’t realize that the cart agreed.

Rodney crossed his arms over his chest and gave a huff of exasperation.

"But I love you anyway." John gave Rodney the puppy dog eyes, making Rodney groan.

"I hate you."

"No, you don’t; you love me," John replied with a grin, pulling Rodney into a hug.

"I—" Rover poked Rodney in the leg, and he sighed. "Fine, I love you; happy now?"

"Yup." John beamed at him. "Even if we are going shopping tomorrow." He made a face. "Not exactly my dream date."

Rodney shuddered even as he nodded in agreement. "I was a fan of ‘gift certificates are your friend’ on Earth."

"Scarves, socks and ties," John said. "Occasionally perfume if I knew her really well. That’s the sum of my gift list."

"And I got your grandfather’s ring; I’m honored." For once there was no sarcasm in Rodney’s voice.

"You’re special," John corrected, leaning in to kiss him lightly.

Rodney flushed slightly but grinned. "Be that as it may, that’s not getting you in my pants until tonight, so go get your work done."

John groaned. "I hate evaluations."

"Rover will help you." The cart clacked his pincers in agreement.

"I don’t think saying they all need a good pinch is going to go over well with the Pentagon," John laughed.

The derisive motion Rover made had Rodney chuckling. "I don’t think he agrees with you."

"Well, I have to admit that in some cases _I_ think it might help, but the brass wouldn’t approve." John patted the cart. "We’ll just have to dream."

"And I’ll put it in Kavanagh’s evaluation," Rodney promised, stroking Rover’s sensor array, his fingers brushing against John’s.

John laughed. "Which means we’ll have to listen to him bitch and moan again, you know."

"That would mean I actually listened to him at all."

"No one listens to him, but it’s impossible to avoid hearing him. He must be due to head back to Earth again; he’s been here for months this time."

"Sad to say it, but I think he likes being on Cadman’s team. I’ve seen him sitting with Matthews and Harrison at meals from time to time. Cadman even joins them when O’Neill’s not around."

John stared. "Is it improving him any?"

"How the hell would I know? Ask Cadman!"

"He still reports to you, Rodney," John pointed out. "Is he any less annoying?"

Rodney was silent a long moment, considering the question. "Somewhat," he finally said. "He seems to be more open to listening to others than he was."

"Huh. I may have to put Cadman up for promotion."

"And have her out-rank Jack Jr.? Jaffa will throw a fit."

John burst into laughter. "She already does," he pointed out. "She’s a first lieutenant, and he’s a second."

"Semantics," Rodney sniffed, waving a hand in the air, the motion echoed by Rover with a pincer.

A raised eyebrow was John’s only comment on that blithe dismissal of the rank structure of the US armed forces. "On that note, I think I’ll go deal with my work before we have a mutiny. I’ll meet you for dinner."

Glad of the fact that the _Daedalus_ was gone, Rodney leaned in and brushed a kiss over John’s lips. "Have a good day polishing your weapons, dear; I know I’ll have fun flogging my minions."

"You are a very scary man!"

~*~

"Kill me now," John groaned as he dropped into a seat opposite Rodney that evening.

"What cretin did what now?"

"The entire population of this city can talk about nothing but what to get Elizabeth and Paul for their wedding," John groaned. "It’s like living on the Home Shopping Network!"

"Ah, that." Rodney nodded in commiseration. "Half my staff actually wants to go off-world, and the rest has given up on their work to design gewgaws as gifts."

"Let’s hope the Wraith don’t attack because no one would notice for the great shopping frenzy!"

"Well, they might get killed in the mobs rushing around."

"Or run over by a cart. I made the mistake of getting between Loki and the jumper bay." John shuddered. "I’m lucky to be alive."

Rodney’s eyes widened, and Rover scooted closer to them. "Should I examine you for singe marks?"

"That should probably wait till we’re in private," John replied, finally smiling. "I think we can take it as given that the carts are planning to give them gifts too."

"What do you think?" Rodney chuckled. "Or to be more precise, who do you think had Loki running that errand that almost had tire-tracks on your ass?"

"Well, I suppose it could be Lindstrom or Bates, but I’m voting that Loki’s doing it for himself."

"Exactly." Rodney beamed like a proud parent.

"We might end up with a few tagalongs tomorrow then."

"They may have to give Rover a shopping list."

John laughed. "We’d better make sure to bring plenty of trade goods."

Rodney took a drink and nodded. "And make sure that they know you aren’t one of them."

"You really are nuts," John chuckled, shaking his head slightly. "No one’s after my ass."

Rodney only stared at him.

"Whatever. I think I’ll be safe with you and Rover there to guard me."

Rover banged against the table, and Rodney petted him. "Exactly. Now eat, Colonel; I feel an urge to have you walking funny tomorrow."

There was a moment of hesitation, and then John started eating faster. "I’m going to hold you to that," he said between bites.

"Actually," Rodney smirked, "I’m the one who’s going to be doing the holding."

John shivered. "We could always eat later, you know."

"Nope, you need your energy."

"Have I mentioned lately that you’re bossy?"

"And this is a problem?"

"No, not really." John grinned. "I was just hoping to distract you so we could move on to the sex part of the evening."

Rodney chuckled and pointed at his own half-full plate. "You don’t want me passing out in the middle of things, do you?"

"Well, not from _hunger_."

"I’m going to faint from doing you?"

"It’s something to aim for."

Rodney snorted and went back to eating.

"Hey, everyone needs a goal."

"Well, feel free to give it a try when we have a few days off." Rodney paused and chuckled then. "We need a honeymoon."

John stopped eating as he considered that. "You know, you’re right. Once Elizabeth and Paul are back on duty, I’ll talk to her about some downtime for our team and us getting a couple of days away from Atlantis. If they could survive without us for over a month when we went to Earth, they can give us a week for ourselves."

"On our island?"

"Exactly. You, me, Rover, a jumper, sun, sand, surf, and seashells."

That comment caused Rover to whirl in a circle and Rodney to chuckle. "That sounds perfect to me as long as I have time to stock up on the sun screen."

"You can bring a vat," John laughed. "As long as there’s at least as much lube."

"Maybe I’ll make a batch mentholated," Rodney mused.

John almost choked on a bite of his stew. "That would be... interesting."

"Wouldn’t it?"

"Have I mentioned that I love your mind?"

Rodney preened. "Yes, but feel free to continue the adulation."

John snorted. "Let’s not get carried away. I love you; I’m not about to worship you."

"Good slaves are so hard to find," Rodney sighed.

John raised an eyebrow, and Rover banged Rodney’s shin.

"Ow!" Rodney protested. "I’m feeling the love from both of you!"

"Love you can have, but you can forget about slaves." Rover bobbed up and down in agreement.

Rodney sighed and jutted out his lower lip in a pout. "You two never let me have any fun.

John gawked at him. "You have _got_ to be kidding!"

It was the expression that finally did Rodney in, and he collapsed back in his chair, howling with laughter.

"Oh very funny. Just for that, _you_ can pick Elizabeth’s gift."

"Do you really want her to hate us?"

John laughed. "Okay, maybe that wasn’t one of my better ideas."

Rodney only grinned.

"You can sooth my fevered brow while I’m negotiating for a good price then."

"In your dreams!"

"It was worth a try," John chuckled. "How ‘bout you get me fevered instead?"

"In the mess hall?" Lisa Lindstrom asked as she sat down next to Rodney. "Should I take notes?"

"If you can’t keep Bates entertained on your own, it’s your problem," Rodney sniffed before downing the rest of his coffee.

She laughed at him. "Have more coffee, Rodney. You’re still asleep if you believe that."

"Oh, that’s right; you have your psycho cart to do that for you." He smirked when Rover moved closer to protect him from Loki’s pincers.

"Ignore him, baby; I know you’re not psycho," Lisa said, reaching down to pat Loki.

"Flame throwers," John said.

Lisa grinned. "Everyone needs a hobby."

"One that didn’t melt sections of walls would be preferable," Rodney snorted, looking up as Carson and Ciora joined them.

"Discussing Loki’s little accident again, are we?" Carson asked as he sat, patting Ciora when she handed him his tray.

Rover scooted over to nudge Ciora before moving back between Loki and Rodney, clearly not trusting the other cart near Rodney.

"You have to admit it was memorable," John pointed out, remembering the multi-colored flames from the chemical fire.

"The pattern was very pretty," Lisa said, patting Loki again. "But Rodney’s right, no more melting walls." If a cart could look shame-faced, Loki did.

"If any more Wraith get in the city, you can torch them," Rodney offered.

Loki spun excitedly, making everyone laugh.

~*~

"So, what do we have to trade?" Rodney asked, watching John power up the jumper and Rover settle into his ‘seat’.

"Carson and the botanists have several Earth plants that are useful in healing and first aid, and there’s an herbal tea that the Athosians like that may be popular. If they go over well, we may trade cuttings for bigger things later on."

"Sounds good," Rodney nodded as they took off. "Just not any people."

"No, Elizabeth frowns on that sort of thing," John agreed as he sent the jumper through the gate. "Just remember we’re there for wedding presents, not Ancient artifacts."

"There’s always time for Ancient artifacts," Rodney sniffed once they had emerged from the gate and were flying toward the town. "Imagine what they would say if we gave them a ZPM for a wedding gift."

"I’m pretty sure they’d call you an Indian giver."

"They could still have it; it would just be put to better use than sitting on a shelf in their living room!"

"Uh huh. We’ll stick to getting something that’s actually for them."

Rover bobbed up and down, nodding his agreement.

Rodney chuckled and reached back to stroke the cart’s sensor array. "Fine, fine, no ZPMs, just wedding presents."

"Well, if we happen to find one, we’ll get that too but _not_ as a present." John reached over to curl a hand around the nape of Rodney’s neck and drew him closer for a quick kiss.

"Watch where you’re flying," Rodney retorted though he was grinning as he said it.

"Quit backseat driving," John laughed, landing the jumper in a clearing outside the city where the cloak, which had been active since before they came through the gate, would keep it from being seen.

"I will when you learn to keep your eyes on the road." As he spoke, Rodney got up and reached for one of the packs of trade goods while Rover gathered several more.

"But you’re prettier."

"Remind me to shoot you for saying that."

"You want me to think you’re ugly? Hey!" John yelped a protest when Rover pinched him.

"You know what I meant!"

"Precision in all things, Dr. McKay."

"Tell me that _you_ did not just say that to _me_."

John laughed, enjoying Rodney’s sputtering. "Yeah, I did."

Rodney was quiet for a moment as they walked, though he was watching John intently, making John look over at him questioningly.

"What’s up?"

"I was just thinking."

"About what?" John wondered if he should have brought more armament.

"Nothing." Rodney tried for his best innocent face.

"You’re making me very nervous," John warned.

"I am? Good." Humming under his breath, Rodney led the way to the bazaar, Rover rolling along at his side, John glaring after him.

"One snicker and I’m sleeping in the other room tonight!" John grumbled. "What are you plotting, Rodney?"

"Plotting? Why on earth would you think I was plotting something, Colonel?"

"Innocence does not become you," John said, growing more suspicious by the second.

"Oh, just shush and look for a rug—and a sword!"

Still eyeing Rodney narrowly, John nodded. "Right, wedding presents. And if we leave here with crazy people chasing us with spears or guns, you are so going to pay."

Rodney pouted at that. "You have no faith at all in me, do you?"

"I have complete faith in your ability to find trouble."

Rodney scowled at that. "Comments of that type will have you sleeping on the sofa. Alone!"

"But if I’m alone on the couch, I can’t suck you off and hear all those little whines you make that drive me crazy and get me so hard I think I’m going to burst."

"No, but I can play with myself and make all those noises and listen to you curse and groan because you can’t touch."

John burst into laughter. "And I call that round a draw."

"A very good idea, and I hope neither of us has to resort to that this evening."

"I don’t think we ever have, so I doubt we’ll start now."

Rodney chuckled at that and nodded before skipping ahead a step when Rover nudged him from behind. "I think he wants to get shopping."

"I think you’re right. Now let’s just hope we find what we want quickly. I really don’t want to spend the whole day shopping." John looked around. "Do we just pick a direction?"

"Rover seems to want to go that way," Rodney commented, pointing to the left where the cart was rolling ahead of them, his sensor lights flashing.

"Far be it for me to argue with Rover," John laughed. "Especially when he seems to have a goal."

"I think we’re letting him pick the gifts; he’ll do better anyway," Rodney commented, glancing around them at the items on display as they followed the cart through the bazaar.

"Good point. Besides, they’re from all three of us anyhow. This way we all have a part in getting them; Rover picks them, and we pay for and carry them." John grinned.

"He has us trained well," Rodney muttered before shaking his head and smiling when Rover waved a pincer at them.

"Was that ever in any doubt?"

They hastened their steps to catch up with the cart, who was waiting at a stall, the wide-eyed proprietor staring at him nervously. John took in the weapons, an acquisitive light appearing in his eyes. Several knives and swords were on display, not flashy as the hilts were all fairly simple, but the quality showed to anyone who knew weapons.

Rodney took out his scanner and ran it over the swords and knives, hrmming to himself until John elbowed him in the side. "What? Oh, yes, they’re good stuff material-wise—you can try them out; just don’t cut any bits and pieces off."

"I think I can manage to avoid that," John said dryly, picking up a sword to test the balance after a frankly covetous look at a knife.

"You would like to see the knife as well?" the crafter asked, lifting it and offering it to John.

"Here for presents, Colonel," Rodney reminded him.

"No, thank you, we’re only interested in a sword today," John said, consciously keeping himself from reaching for the knife."

The crafter looked momentarily disappointed but rallied. "Of course, it is one of my best pieces."

"Of course it is," John murmured, but in fact, the sword was of excellent workmanship. He ran through several positions, nodding. "What do you think, Rodney?"

"Looks great," Rodney murmured before realizing John was talking about the sword. "Very—very nice balance."

That settled, John started bargaining in earnest, eventually gaining the sword for a trade that left both the craftsman and him smiling. "We’ll definitely be back for other items in future," John said in parting, pleased with his purchase.

"Well, that was relatively easy. Where to next, Rover?" Rodney said brightly.

Clearly knowing exactly where he was going, the cart veered off into an alley between stalls, and the two men followed. "You get the feeling he paid a lot more attention than we did when we were here before?" John observed conversationally.

"Yes," Rodney mused as they followed Rover down a series of aisles. "He’s our own personal shopper."

John chuckled. "He’s a true Renaissance cart."

Rover spun in a circle, scattering shoppers, and Rodney snickered at the sight. "And he never lets us forget it."

"I think he dreams up new things on a daily basis just to keep surprising us."

Rodney chuckled as Rover bobbed up and down before scooting over to another stall and levitating so he could scan the wares on display. "Well, as you do the same thing, I’m not going to complain."

"I enjoy surprising you." John stole a quick kiss, making Rodney smile.

"You do that every day, Colonel. Now stop distracting me so we can look at rugs or weavings or whatever these are."

"Um..." John peered at the textiles Rover was inspecting. "I have no idea, but do we really care? Whatever they are, Elizabeth would love them."

"My wares are only the finest tapestries!" The vendor, a tall, slender man, assured them as he ran a hand over a rich gold, green and burgundy weave.

"Of course they are," Rodney said uneasily, stepping back from the man’s enthusiasm.

Ignoring the expensive tapestry the vendor was trying to draw to John and Rodney’s attention, Rover reached out with a pincer to grasp John’s pants and pull him over to look at a far simpler hanging done in warm earth tones. The deep russets, ambers, olives and browns wove a deceptively simple pattern.

"This one, Rover?" John leaned in to look at it more closely. "Pretty. What do you think, Rodney?"

After glancing at it, Rodney nodded. "Looks good to me, though you two need to buy it. I, umm, need to use the facilities."

Knowing that Rodney was armed, John nodded. "We’ll meet you at that food vendor’s stall at the end of the alley," he said with a nod in that direction, indicating one they’d eaten from and enjoyed in the past.

"I’ll be there," Rodney promised, raising a hand in a quick wave as he ducked away, hustling back to the sword maker, a man with a mission. The transaction didn’t take too long, and he was smiling broadly as he walked to the stall, spotting John and Rodney waiting for him.

"What? You didn’t get me anything to eat?" he demanded.

"And then listen to you complain that you wanted something else? We’ll both get something now."

Rodney snickered at that, not denying the accusation. "Fine, fine, let’s order!"

"After you. I’ve learned not to get between you and food," John chuckled, stepping up to the stall at Rodney’s side.

"You’re a genius," Rodney sniffed, stepping up to the stall and examining the items for sale.

"That’s how I keep up with you." John grinned at him before ordering his own food, knowing that Rodney would take a while to decide.

"Hrmm..." Rodney hemmed and hawed, looking at the choices, then stole a bit of John’s meat pie when it was delivered. "Not bad... I’ll have the stew."

"So stop eating mine then!" John shifted it to the other hand, away from Rodney, well aware that otherwise Rodney would just keep picking at it until his own food arrived.

"Not feeling the love here, Colonel," Rodney huffed before ordering the same thing John had.

"I thought you were going to have the stew? Though this is easier to eat while we’re wandering around. Then again, we got what we came for; do we need to stay for anything else?"

"What? I’m not allowed to change my mind?" Rodney sniffed. "And as far as I can see, we’re done—unless Rover has any ideas?" He looked down at the cart as he spoke, but Rover showed no desire to head off anywhere else.

"You’re allowed to change your mind about anything except me," John chuckled. "You know, we could find an inn and rent a room for a few hours. No one’s expecting us back for a while."

"Rent a room for a few hours?" Rodney’s voice pitched higher as he stared at John. "Like some kind of—of secret liaison?"

"Why not? Just think, absolutely no interruptions."

"The possibility of the Wraith culling this place while we’re engaged in carnal acts..."

"Only you," John sighed. "Fine, we’ll go back to Atlantis, lock ourselves in our rooms, and have Rover guard the door."

"Oh, fine, we can stay here and have hot, sweaty sex in the unhygienic bed," Rodney sighed though he was smiling as he spoke.

"I’ll bet I can make you forget all about the bed," John all but purred.

"I’m counting on it!"

John grinned. "Trust me."

"Now I’m filled with dread."

"And as soon as we get there, you’ll be filled with me."

Rodney cleared his throat at that, and the back of his neck turned red. "So why are we standing here?"

"Because you wanted to complain about the accommodations some more. But you can do that on the way—just not in front of the innkeeper or whatever he’s called or we’ll never get a room—so we can get there sooner." John gave him a quick, hard kiss and started down the alley, firmly gripping Rodney’s arm.

"Yes, Colonel, whatever you say, Colonel," Rodney replied quickly, glancing behind them to make sure Rover was coming before hurrying his steps when he saw the cart right behind them.

"Mmm, I like the sound of that. Keep saying it, Rodney." John grinned over his shoulder at him.

Rodney shook his head, but he laughed and repeated the phrase as they entered the two-storey building.

"Mmm, and obedient too. Quick, I need a room!" John announced to the innkeeper, who gawked at him before muffling a laugh.

"I’m going to kill you," Rodney muttered under his breath even as he plastered himself against John’s side, attempting to look obedient.

"Only with pleasure. And that’s also what’ll bring me back." John accepted the key and led Rodney upstairs, chuckling at the innkeeper’s reaction to Rover when the cart floated up the stairs.

"Oh, so you’re a cat now?" Rodney asked as he ran his hand over John’s ass, crowding up next to him as John pulled him down a short hallway.

"I’ll even purr if you keep that up."

"Keeping it up isn’t the problem here—or should I just keep saying ‘yes, Colonel’?"

"Depends whether you want me to come before I even get my pants off."

"I thought that was going to happen when you were in me."

"It is." John stopped halfway down the hall, not caring if anyone was watching, and turned to pull Rodney into his arms and kiss him. "We need to get to the room now, or it’s going to happen right here."

"Then get the key out and get us in the room, Colonel," Rodney growled, rubbing against John’s side and yanking up his shirt to stroke his stomach.

John groaned and jerked Rodney down the hall and fumbled a key into the door, finally pushing it open and jerking Rodney inside. He paused with the door open and looked at Rover. "You coming in or guarding the door from outside?"

The cart rolled back and forth before darting over the threshold and into the room, making a quick perimeter search before settling in a corner by the window.

"I think he’d rather stay with us," Rodney murmured, smiling over at the cart before shucking out of his jacket and shirt.

"I have to admit that I prefer knowing we’re all safely together," John agreed as he pulled his shirt over his head, nearly wrenched his shoes off, and shed his pants, leaving him naked within seconds.

Rodney nodded, looking distracted as he watched the swing of John’s dog tags against his chest. "Yes, Colonel," he rasped.

"Fuck." John toppled him to the bed and crawled over him, hazel eyes hot as he stared down at Rodney.

"Yes, Colonel, whatever you say, Colonel," Rodney murmured, running his hands up John’s back and arching up beneath him.

"Tease," John rasped, leaning down to catch an already rigid nipple between his teeth.

"You’re absolutely right, Colonel," Rodney groaned.

"I’d love to get that in writing," John chuckled, turning his attention to the other nipple while a hand slid into Rodney’s pants, making the other man moan and writhe beneath him. "So hot," he whispered, sliding down, nibbling a trail along Rodney’s torso while he unfastened the pants and pushed them down with his free hand.

"Yes—oh god—Colonel," Rodney gasped, running his fingers through John’s hair and shivering as the metal of his dog tags slid along his leg.

"I love the way you sound when I touch you." John’s tongue lightly probed Rodney’s navel.

Rodney’s whole body jerked as air flowed over his now damp flesh. "Good... good thing because I love it when you touch me."

"Me too," John murmured before mouthing Rodney’s cock, then blowing lightly.

"Y-yes, Colonel," Rodney whispered, twisting his hips to try and get his erection closer to John’s mouth. John groaned and gave them both what they wanted, sliding Rodney’s cock into his mouth and suckling.

Rodney whimpered, spreading his legs wider, one hand fisting in the sheets as John licked and sucked at his cock, but after a moment, John sat up, staring down at him. John reached over the side of the bed to grab his jacket, pulling a small packet of lube out of the pocket and squeezing it into his hand. He watched Rodney’s faced as he slowly circled his hole, teasing the sensitive flesh.

"Colonel, if you don’t _do_ something, you’re never going to hear ‘yes’ again!"

"You mean something like this?" John suddenly pushed a finger into Rodney, sliding deep to stroke over his prostate.

Rodney howled, his whole body jerking. "Yes, oh fuck, yes."

Groaning his pleasure at Rodney’s responsiveness, John leaned over to tug at a nipple with his teeth before straightening up and pushing into him with no more preparation than that.

"Yes, need you, so good, always," Rodney babbled, pulling his knees back to open himself more to John’s thrusts.

John could only nod jerkily as he drove into Rodney, staring down into the dazed blue eyes. "Love you," he rasped, "want you."

"Yes... Colonel," Rodney whispered as they moved together.

"Rodney!" John groaned out his name as a spasm of pure pleasure rippled down his spine, his hips moving faster as it began to rush over him.

Rodney moved with him, moaning and whimpering as his cock rubbed against John’s belly, his whole body shuddering at the fast, hard claiming. The sounds drove John on, making him want to hear more. After a moment, he forced himself to slow, not wanting this to end so quickly. He caught hold of Rodney’s hands, lacing their fingers together as he held them at the sides of Rodney’s head, and he met Rodney’s gaze as he rocked into him.

"Make me feel so much," Rodney gasped, unable to look away from that penetrating hazel gaze and the man who, at times, knew him better than he knew himself.

John nodded jerkily before licking at Rodney’s lips, tasting him while continuing to hold his gaze, swallowing Rodney’s moans and whimpers as he squirmed beneath him.

"All mine," John whispered against Rodney’s lips. "So good, so damn good."

"Better than anything I ever imagined," Rodney breathed, tightening his fingers around John’s as they rocked together.

"And you can imagine a lot." John bit his lip as the pleasure threatened to overwhelm him. "This is better, though."

Rodney nodded jerkily, his gaze never leaving John’s eyes. "You—we’re better."

"The best." John’s hips sped up, and he groaned deeply, fighting the pleasure, wanting to make it last as long as possible.

"Forever," Rodney whispered, extending his arms as he stretched upward under John, his whole body trembling.

John nodded, lowering his head to kiss Rodney as his climax washed over him. He buried himself inside his lover, gasping as he came. Rodney’s followed hard on the heels of John’s, and he clamped down on John’s hands, hips, and cock as he shuddered with pleasure.

John sprawled on top of the huskier man, panting as they lay tangled together. "Love you," he whispered.

"You—you have good ideas," Rodney gasped without he letting go of John.

"You’re very inspirational."

Rodney’s blissed-out expression morphed into a smug smile at that. "Of course I am."

"Smug bastard," John muttered, trying not to laugh.

"Damn right. With you and Rover, I have reason to be."

"Good point." John raised his head to grin at Rodney, while Rover came over to bump the bed in agreement.

Rodney chuckled and let go of John’s hand to stroke the cart’s sensor array. "You know, I almost like this bed."

"Told you so!"

"Yes, yes, and now you’re going to rub it in my face for the next ten months."

John considered it. "Oh, much longer than that."

"Bastard."

"But I’m your bastard."

"And don’t you forget it."

"I wouldn’t dream of it. And the same goes for you."

"I know, I’m owned both by you and by Rover, and as pathetic as that seems, I’m glad of it."

John beamed at him. "Good thing ‘cause neither of us is letting you go."

"Brilliant, the both of you," Rodney murmured, not letting go of John’s hand as he continued to stroke Rover.

"We have to be to keep up with you."

Rover banged his pincer on the wooden bed frame, and Rodney had to smile. "Well, we’ll have me to thank for keeping us young until our fiftieth anniversary."

"Which we’ll celebrate by making each other pass out." John grinned at him while reaching down to pat Rover.

"Which will happen if we walk to the mess too quickly."

John laughed. "’Cause we save all our energy for sex."

"Rover, will you pull our wheelchairs when we’re too old to walk?" Rodney chuckled.

Rover made a sound like a snort, but he bobbed up and down in agreement, making John chuckled. "Our hero."

"As always," Rodney smiled.

"We’re all good for each other." John started to roll to the side, trying to give Rodney room to breathe."

"If you move, I’m going to elbow you," Rodney growled.

"Fine, see if I try to be nice again."

"You are being nice; you’re keeping me warm."

"Just call me Col. Blanket," John snorted.

"That’s Col. Security Blanket, thank you," Rodney muttered.

John smiled faintly. "I can live with that."

"You’d better because it’s not changing."

"I wouldn’t want it to. I like that I make you feel safe. You make me feel."

Rodney paused at that, and his lips quirked in a crooked smile. "So we’re perfect for each other."

"Which we already knew."

"Yes, but it bears repeating."

"As often as possible. We’ll nauseate people and enjoy it."

"Especially if the people include Radek."

"If you keep tormenting him, Carson’s going to start tormenting you," John chuckled.

"Then you’ll just have to protect me, won’t you?"

"All that would get us would be side by side beds in the infirmary after he performed exploratory surgery on us. I think we’ll have to count on Rover to save us from the wrath of Carson."

Hearing his name, Rover zipped in a quick circle, waving a pincer in answer.

"At least until the girls distract him," Rodney chuckled.

John laughed. "Fortunately, I don’t think Carson would permanently maim the babies’ other grandfathers." There was a beat of silence. "Oh my God, we’re _grandfathers_!"

"You _swore_ you’d never say that again!" Rodney groaned, trying to punch John in the side.

John snickered, the mock-horrified expression morphing into pure amusement. "Oh but why?"

"I agree to an assignation in this dubious place, and you respond by tormenting me? I’m feeling the love, Colonel."

"Rodney, I’m still inside you. Or I was," John corrected as his softened flesh finally slipped out of his lover. "If you don’t feel it now, you never will."

"I think that’s more ‘if I didn’t feel it’," Rodney corrected him with a crooked grin.

John laughed. "Don’t split hairs."

"I’m a genius; it’s in my nature."

"You’re my genius, so just relax and enjoy the afterglow."

"Fine, fine, though I’m letting you know, if one bedbug bites my ass, the afterglow is over."

John rolled his eyes before flipping them over so that he was on his back with Rodney sprawled on top of him. "Better?"

"I didn’t mean for you to move," Rodney pouted as he shifted around to get comfortable.

"I’m still right here," John pointed out. "I’m just protecting my favorite asset."

"Yes, well, I like yours too, so don’t let it get bitten either."

"Only by you," John promised him, taking advantage of their new position to stroke the length of Rodney’s back and fondle his ass.

"Damn right it had better just be by me," Rodney snorted, nipping at John’s earlobe, making John shiver.

"I’m a one-mad-scientist man," John chuckled, his head falling to the side to give Rodney greater access.

"Good thing; you couldn’t handle two of me."

"Nope, one of you’s all I need." John sighed happily. "I love my life."

~*~

"Have I mentioned that uniform looks very good on you?" Rodney asked, eyeing the well-tailored mess dress John was wearing, trying to convince himself that mauling the other man would make them late for the ceremony.

John grinned at Rodney in the mirror as he gave his tie a final adjustment and set his cap on his head. "Not yet, no, but I got the idea when your jaw dropped when you saw it. You looked like you wanted to eat me.

"And we’ll get back to that idea tonight," he added as he turned to give Rodney a quick kiss.

"You live to torment me, don’t you?" Rodney asked, stepping back and crouching down to study Rover, nodding in satisfaction at his gleaming appearance. "So, we’re all ready to go then."

"Then we’d better go. Since she asked me to give her away, I really don’t think we should be late." John patted Rover as they made their way to the door.

"And I get to stand with Paul... the things you do for someone who sold you to Siberia..."

"I thought that was Carter?" John said, always eager to blame Rodney’s former crush for anything he could.

"No, it was Daniel and Paul," Rodney snorted.

"Of course, it couldn’t be the perfect Carter," John muttered.

"Are we going to get in an argument about this right before Paul and Elizabeth’s wedding?" Rodney asked, his tome deceptively mild.

"I’m not arguing," John said sulkily.

"No, you’re being an insecure jerk."

"Well, excuse me for not being a fellow worshipper of Saint Samantha," John sniped, knowing he was being an idiot but unable to stop himself. He had knee jerk reactions when it came to Rodney’s crush on Sam Carter.

"And excuse me for not wanting to continue this conversation any longer," Rodney snapped. "No, don’t excuse me because I don’t care if you do!" He turned and stalked away, and Rover banged into John’s shin before zipping after him.

John half raised a hand in protest before slumping unhappily where he stood. He knew it was his own fault, but he couldn’t seem to get past the idea that Sam Carter was a much better match for Rodney than he was and that someday Rodney would realize it. But he wasn’t going to ruin Elizabeth and Paul’s day, so he pasted the superficially charming smile that he hadn’t had to resort to in so long on his face and made his way to the room where the ceremony would take place.

By the time Rodney reached the room where Paul was waiting so that he wouldn’t see Elizabeth before the ceremony, he’d worked himself into a state of molten anger though he attempted to put it aside, not wanting to ruin his friends’ day. Rover rocked back and forth at his side, clearly agitated, and he reached down to pat the cart’s sensors though the move didn’t do much to calm either of them.

"Is everyone ready?" Paul asked from where he was pacing back and forth at the far side of the room.

"Hm? Oh, I suppose they are; the place seemed pretty full."

Paul stopped in his pacing and frowned at Rodney. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing new and nothing relating to the wedding," Rodney assured him quickly. "I’m sure it’s going to be perfect."

Paul wasn’t convinced, but it was his wedding day, so he decided to let it slide. "Are you sure Elizabeth’s ready?" he asked nervously.

Meanwhile, John had joined Elizabeth, and she took one look at him and demanded to know what was wrong.

"What could be wrong?" he laughed, giving her a smile. "It’s your wedding day, and it’s going to be perfect."

"I didn’t mean with the wedding; I meant with you."

"What could be wrong? Have I told you yet how beautiful you look?"

"John..." Elizabeth’s voice took on a tone of warning.

"Paul’s a lucky man," John said, ignoring the warning until he met her eyes, and then he sighed. "Nothing new and we’ll sort it out later. Don’t worry about it."

"Hopefully it will be sooner than later." She smiled at him and wrapped him a warm hug.

"I’m sure it will be. You know us, we can’t stay away from each other," John admitted. "Unless your soon to be husband kills me for keeping his bride from him, that is," John added with a chuckle. "I think it’s time."

"I’m more than ready," Elizabeth admitted, giving a nervous smile before taking a deep breath, her expression changing to serene happiness as she rested her hand in the crook of his arm.

"Be happy, Elizabeth," John said softly, brushing a kiss across her temple before they started out.

"You know," she murmured as he opened the door to the transformed mess hall, "Just because the American government doesn’t recognize gay marriages, it doesn’t mean you and Rodney can’t have a ceremony here." Music started, and she beamed, catching sight of Paul standing at the other end of aisle.

John missed at step at Elizabeth’s words, his eyes widening as he realized why he’d been so touchy all day and what had really been behind his argument with Rodney. "You are an amazing woman, Elizabeth," he whispered as they started forward.

From the other end of the aisle, Rodney watched them enter, and even though he struggled to hold onto his annoyance at John, the sight of him walking Elizabeth past all their friends made his stomach clench in a way that had nothing to do with anger.

Meeting Rodney’s gaze, John offered a sheepish, apologetic smile before looking forward again to smile at Paul, who didn’t even see him, so intent was he on Elizabeth.

Now fully focused on John, Rodney frowned slightly, not even noticing when John handed Elizabeth over to Paul and Teyla stepped forward to begin the ceremony. As Teyla spoke the words that would join Elizabeth and Paul, John’s eyes went to Rodney, and he found himself mouthing the responses along with Elizabeth.

Once Rodney realized what John was doing, he swallowed hard, blinking furiously before doing the same with Paul’s parts, at the same time blinking what had to be a plethora of dust from his vision.

When the ceremony was over, after congratulating his friends again and wishing them every happiness, John moved to Rodney’s side, edging them back for a moment’s private speech. "I’m sorry I was such an idiot," he whispered. "I just wish so much that it could be _us_ up there..."

"I know," Rodney admitted. "I felt—it was stupid of me, I’m sorry." That babbled, he caught John and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Me too. I _know_ you’re not going to dump me for Carter. I was just so miserable that it’s not us getting married that I was acting like an ass." John hugged Rodney just as tightly, and Rover pressed against their legs, relieved that they were back to normal.

"And I wasn’t helping by sniping back at you," Rodney sighed, resting his cheek against John’s. "And, well, we could—or I think we sort of just did..."

John nodded slightly. "I just wish we could do it publicly. Although..." he hesitated for a brief instant before continuing, "Elizabeth did suggest that we _could_ have a ceremony here on Atlantis. I know Teyla would perform it for us if we asked."

"I like that idea," Rodney admitted, pulling back enough to look John in the eye. "A lot. In fact, it should terrify me just how much I like that idea."

"It would only terrify me if you _didn’t_ want it," John replied, the tension slowly leeching out of him.

"Not a chance." As he spoke, Rodney slid a hand up to the back of John’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. "I’m sorry I was an idiot."

"And I’m sorry I was insane," John replied ruefully. "I’m surprised Rover only whacked my shins once."

The cart spun in a circle and banged John’s leg, causing Rodney to laugh. "I guess he didn’t want you to feel left out."

"Hey!" John exclaimed. "You missed your chance. No retroactive bashing!"

"Do you really think he believes that?" Rodney chuckled.

"No," John grumbled, "but my shins wish he would. See, we’re together again. Rodney’s happy. No more whacking me!"

The cart spun in circle and darted toward the door before turning in a half circle and revving his wheels to hurry them along.

"We’ve been told; I think we’d better get to the party," Rodney laughed.

~*~

"Explain again exactly what we’re doing here," Ronon demanded as he surveyed the decorated mess hall.

"We’re having a party for Paul and Elizabeth’s wedding," John explained patiently. "We had the showers slash bachelor parties before the ceremony, and now we’re celebrating the marriage itself."

"So they get a party before the ceremony and then another after?"

"Well, yes. There’s usually more time between the two since engagements are often months or even a year or two long."

Ronon nodded and rubbed his chin, frowning slightly. "So long as there’s food and drinks at both, it makes sense to me."

Casting a helpless look at Rodney, John tried not to laugh. "There will be plenty to eat and drink."

"And music and horribly sappy toasts that will make me want to claw my eyes out," Rodney sighed.

"Which you will pretend to enjoy for our friends and then I’ll make it up to you afterward," John promised.

"Exactly," Rodney smirked, causing Ronon to chuckle.

"So no different from usual," Ronon decided.

"Pretty much," John agreed, pulling Rodney into a kiss when he seemed about to protest.

"Ye have him well-trained, John," Carson laughed as he and Radek joined them.

"Excuse me?!" Rodney squawked.

"It’s entirely mutual," John said, ignoring Radek’s snort.

"Good answer, Colonel, and just where are Paul and Elizabeth, starting the honeymoon already?"

John’s grin was answer enough an instant before Elizabeth’s voice said, "Right behind you, Rodney."

"Well, finally," he sniffed, half-turning to look at them.

"We’re newlyweds; surely we’re allowed a moment or two for privacy," Paul laughed.

"I think that’s what the honeymoon’s for," John pointed out, one hand lightly rubbing Rodney’s back.

"Unlike some people, I think we can restrain ourselves for a few hours," Elizabeth laughed.

"Where’s the fun in that?"

"Not having to listen to the rest of you laugh at us," Paul laughed, hugging Elizabeth with the arm he had around her waist.

"And here we thought you’d take over some of the entertainment duties," John said.

"We’re happy to leave that assignment to the two of you," Paul chuckled.

"Aye," Carson commented. "John and Rodney have that aspect of life here well in hand."

"They’re making fun of us," John said mournfully to Rodney.

"Do we really care?"

"Not in the least," John laughed before grabbing Rodney and kissing him.

"I’m definitely glad everything is back to normal," Elizabeth laughed.

"As normal as anything gets in Atlantis," Paul corrected with a wry smile.

END


End file.
